There are times when you do everything right, and yet something doesn’t work out. You invest in the relationship, strive at work, hold everyone around you, and inside, a quiet fatigue accumulates. Another conversation that gets complicated, another plan that changes, another feeling that the ground is less stable. For those who grew up without a supportive family backing, this experience is especially familiar. The body learns to hold on its own, the heart is alert, and every jolt is experienced more deeply.
Within this daily encounter with life, I came across a short text by Bert Hellinger that offers a new way to understand difficulty and loss, encouraging us to see these moments as opportunities for growth
Life disappoints
to help us stop living in illusions
and see reality as it is.
Life destroys everything superfluous,
until only what really matters remains.
Life doesn’t give us rest,
so that we stop fighting
and start accepting reality as it is,
in all its aspects – the beautiful and the challenging.
Life takes from us,
until we stop complaining
and start being grateful for what we have.
Life brings us people who tend to conflict
so that we can heal
and stop projecting outward what is within us.
Life allows us to fall again and again,
until we decide to learn the lesson and rise strongly.
Life deceives and sets up junctions,
until we stop wanting to control
and agree to flow like a river,
in freedom and liberation.
Life puts enemies in our path,
until we stop being reactive
and learn to act from inner peace.
Life scares us whenever it needs to,
so that we overcome fear
and restore faith in ourselves and the world.
Life takes away true love from us,
does not grant it or allow it,
until we stop wanting to buy it with decorations
and realize that it comes from within.
Life distances our loved ones from us,
until we realize that we are not this body
but the soul within it.
Life laughs at us many times,
until we stop taking ourselves so seriously
and learn to laugh at ourselves.
Life crumbles us into as many pieces as needed,
so that from them we can illuminate the light within us.
Life repeats the same message with blows and alarms,
until we start listening truly.
Life sends storms and lightning our way
so that we can wake up and discover the power within us.
Life humiliates and defeats us
until we decide to let the ego die
and discover the humility and wisdom within us.
Life prevents us from having property and greatness
until we stop wanting property and greatness
and start serving others with an open heart.
Life cuts off our wings and trims our roots,
until we no longer need wings and roots,
And we can soar from our very being.
Life prevents us from having miracles
until we realize that everything is a miracle,
and every moment is an opportunity for wonder.
Life shortens our time,
so that we learn to live in the fullness of the moment,
to enjoy the present, and make the most of every second.
Life despises us until we become nothing,
so that we become everything
and discover the unity within us.
Life doesn’t give us what we want,
but what we need to develop and empower ourselves.
Life hurts, pains, torments,
until we release the whims
and learn to enjoy the breath and simple existence.
Life hides treasures from us
until we start the journey
and go looking for them with passion and curiosity.
Life prevents us from having God
until we see Him in everyone and everything,
in every moment and every experience.
Life asks, takes, cuts off,
breaks, disappoints, crushes,
until only love remains within us.
Bert Hellinger
16/12/1925 – 19/9/2019
Sometimes it seems that life insists on pressing exactly where it hurts. Precisely there comes the loss, the separation, the boundary. Recognize that these moments can be growth opportunities, inspiring hope that change is possible. It’s easy to interpret this as a sign that something is wrong with you, that you haven’t done enough, that you haven’t tried hard enough. This feeling is especially familiar when you grew up without a family support system holding you. Every difficulty is experienced very personally, almost as proof that you are alone against the world.
Hellinger’s view offers a quiet reversal. Life is not acting against you. It is acting for your precision. It reveals old loyalties and survival patterns that were born early, in times when you did everything necessary to belong and stay safe. Embrace the pain and boundaries that arise, as they lead to inner stability and maturity. What once protected you, today asks for an update. Through the encounter with pain and with boundaries, layers of control and overexertion peel away, and a more stable inner ground becomes clear. In this sense, the difficulty becomes a movement of alignment. Less struggle with reality, more connection to what is, and from it develops a mature presence in relationships, in marriage, and in life.
Expert in couples therapy for relationships without a supportive family safety net.
Developer of the Couples Constellation approach: a systemic-emotional therapy that brings the couple’s relational dynamics into contact with unspoken family patterns, alongside practical tools that enable movement, connection, and the creation of a deep partnership.
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For people without a supportive family network.
We will reveal how the lack of a family network challenges and strengthens the couple's relationship, the high prices it exacts from you and your relationship.
Couples therapy will strengthen your sense of security and belonging, so you can be close without losing yourselves along the way.
Online / In-person clinic
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Individual therapy is a safe space where you will rediscover your strengths, build inner confidence, and create a whole and meaningful life for yourself, just as you dream.
Online / In-person clinic
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You are invited to enter a unique space: an interactive conversation with special GPTs I created – a first-of-its-kind tool that looks inward with you in the language and frequency of the systemic constellation.
If there is something unresolved in your relationship, family, or heart – the chat will gently meet you without trying to fix it, inviting a different, slow, precise, and quiet perspective. There is no need to understand, just to see and let it work.
Let’s start with a brief introductory call, free of charge and commitment.
Sometimes, this small step changes everything.
The sessions take place
online via Zoom / face-to-face in Tivon, according to your choice
