Is there something you’ve been carrying for years and it’s not really clear to you why?, Do you feel like you are recreating someone’s pain from the family?, Trying to fix something – even if no one asked you to?

A family constellation allows us to identify emotional and systemic influences that pass from generation to generation, even if they were never spoken aloud.
This is a method that brings the unseen to the center of the therapeutic space and allows for repair through recognition, belonging, and a new internal structure.

What is family constellation therapy?

Family Constellation is an experiential and systemic therapy method developed by Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist in the late last century. The method is based on the understanding that there is a profound influence of previous generations on our behaviors, feelings, and choices in the present.

We carry within us unprocessed experiences of our parents and grandparents without knowing it. A family constellation helps to reveal the root voice that activates us from within, and to give it a healing emotional response.

The work is done through representations, locations in space, healing sentences, and dialogues that bring to awareness what was not said – but was felt for generations.

The four foundations of a family constellation:

1. Belonging: Every person belongs to the system, even if forgotten, excluded, or left. When we identify who has not been given a place – something in the system calms down.
2. Order: There is meaning to the hierarchical order between family members. When a child takes on the role of a parent, or when someone “gets confused in their location” – the connection is out of balance.
3. Balance in giving and taking: Relationships are organized around a flow of giving and receiving. When there is an emotional debt, declared or not, the connection weakens.
4. Recognition of what exists: It is impossible to change the past – but it is possible to agree to see it. Recognition is the beginning of repair.

What does work in a family constellation look like in my clinic?

I work with family constellations in three ways: individual therapy, couples therapy, and group meetings. Each of these methods allows a different approach to the intergenerational field, according to the need.
Through working with representations (objects in space) and working in guided imagery – we will build together the “system field”, and understand what is operating in it:

• Who was removed from the system?
  
• Who are you identifying with without knowing?
  
• What role served the dynasty – but is taking a toll on you?
  

We allow what was not told to be seen. When that happens – something is released. Concepts such as “silent alliances”, “speaking in the name of the other” and “holding of unprocessed pain” are central terms that I incorporate into the treatment.

Who is the method suitable for?

• For those who feel that the pain is not theirs – but they carry it.
  
• For people with a complex, missing, fragmented, or silenced family story.
  
• For couples who feel that the unspoken past – lives between them.
• For those who have tried talk therapy and feel that the root of the distress has not yet been revealed.

When should you turn to a family constellation?

• When there is emotional pain that returns in waves, even without a clear reason.
• When there is a feeling of alienation or loneliness that is not resolved.
  
• When there is a recurring pattern in relationships.
  
• When there are secrets, disconnections, or traumas in the family that have not been discussed.
  
• When you feel like you are living a story that didn’t start with you – but you are stuck in it.

How will you know the process is working?

• You will feel that things are falling into place – even without understanding everything in your head.
  
• You will be less overwhelmed by situations that have repeated themselves in the past.
  
• You will feel a deeper emotional connection to yourself.
  
• There will be relief – not only cognitive, but physical and sensory.
• You may also notice changes in relationships with family members – without saying a word.