What happens when we stop waiting for our parents to change—and start accepting them as they are?
This text by Bert Hellinger offers a completely different movement in relation to the place we came from.
Not through blame, not through idealization, but through quiet acceptance-this approach can help the audience feel relief and a sense of control over their healing process.
It’s not easy, but embracing acceptance is a powerful step toward healing and emotional freedom This shift can inspire hope and a sense of possibility for healing..
I grew out of soil that wasn’t soft. In my adult life, I don’t have a supportive family backing; it’s not a fact that defines me, but it’s present in the questions I ask, in the connections I build, and in the way I meet those who come to me.
As a couples therapist who has accompanied people living without a family emotional support system for years, I see how many mental strengths are required to build a meaningful life from a place where there is no traditional comfort. Not from detachment, but from a forward movement—with wisdom, standing firm, in choice.
When I came across this text by Bert Hellinger, a profound insight into acceptance and healing, it helped me feel empowered to face my own journey. It didn’t immediately settle within me.
Something in it didn’t ask for compassion, didn’t demand recognition.
It simply stood there—like a parent—and gave.
In sharp, sometimes searing, minimalism, it marked a path: a gateway to the mature kind of healing.
Precisely because of the personal journey I went through with these words, I chose to translate them into Hebrew and make them accessible here for those who seek to stop waging a silent war against their beginning, and for those who are willing to meet the roots—not to hold on, but to grow.
I invite you to read these lines slowly. To identify where something contracts, where it opens, and where it asks for movement, and to ask yourself: This process can inspire curiosity and openness about your own growth journey.
What in me is no longer fighting to receive recognition?
Can I stand, as I am, before those who gave me life?
And what part of me is ready to take life as it was given—and set out on the path?
In grateful appreciation of the roots of life
Mom and Dad, I accept all that you have given me,
Everything – the whole with everything that comes with it.
You paid a heavy price, and so will I.
I accept everything with humility and gratitude.
From this great gift I received from you,
I will grow something new, something that will make you happy.
This legacy was not given to me in vain.
I will embrace it with respect,
And if I can, I will pass it on, as you passed it on to me.
My dear parents,
I accept you as you are,
And what you can give.
You are my roots,
The right people for me,
And I am a descendant growing from you.
You are the big ones, and I am the small one.
You give, and I receive –
Dear Dad, Dear Mom: How happy I am that you have received each other.
Only you, the two of you together, are my perfect foundation.
Only you!
Bert Hellinger 16/12/1925 – 19/9/2019
Hellinger’s text is not about forgiveness, and does not ask for comfort.
It offers something else: to stand firm.
To see what was given, even if it wasn’t enough, even if it hurt—
and to choose to take it, not as completion, but as a starting point for life.
In my clinic, I accompany people who have chosen to build beneficial emotional roots.
Not to erase what was, but to create a foundation that allows movement.
A quiet, internal movement that does not depend on another but stems from a position of emotional maturity.
When the gaze clears, it is possible to see the parents as they are.
To hold gratitude for what was and to recognize what was not given.
Not to hold on, not to fight, not to expect.
To discern.
From the discernment—to choose.
Worthiness is not the result of a corrected past.
It is a deep choice to stop apologizing for what is not, and to live from what already is.
Emotional distinctiveness is exactly the place where it is possible to love without being swallowed,
to create a connection without disappearing, and to hold yourself.
What am I willing to take from what was given to me and build a life on it?
What connection do I want to maintain, now, from my presence?
What already stands within me, even if it has never been named?
Only when I take my life as it was given,
Am I free to meet the person in front of me—
not to fix me,
But so that we can walk together.
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For people without a supportive family network.
We will reveal how the lack of a family network challenges and strengthens the couple's relationship, the high prices it exacts from you and your relationship.
Couples therapy will strengthen your sense of security and belonging, so you can be close without losing yourselves along the way.
Online / In-person clinic
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Individual therapy is a safe space where you will rediscover your strengths, build inner confidence, and create a whole and meaningful life for yourself, just as you dream.
Online / In-person clinic
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You are invited to enter a unique space: an interactive conversation with special GPTs I created – a first-of-its-kind tool that looks inward with you in the language and frequency of the systemic constellation.
If there is something unresolved in your relationship, family, or heart – the chat will gently meet you without trying to fix it, inviting a different, slow, precise, and quiet perspective. There is no need to understand, just to see and let it work.
Expert in couples therapy for relationships without a supportive family safety net.
Developer of the Couples Constellation approach: a systemic-emotional therapy that brings the couple’s relational dynamics into contact with unspoken family patterns, alongside practical tools that enable movement, connection, and the creation of a deep partnership.
Let’s start with a brief introductory call, free of charge and commitment.
Sometimes, this small step changes everything.
The sessions take place
online via Zoom / face-to-face in Tivon, according to your choice
