Looking to reignite the spark or build new intimacy? The Love Questionnaire, based on research by Prof. Arthur Aron, reveals a surprising and straightforward formula: 36 questions, 49 minutes, and deep emotional infatuation. This is a scientifically researched practice proven to generate closeness and intimacy – not only for new couples, but also for long-term partners who want to feel it again.
The Love Questionnaire was developed by Prof. Arthur Aron in 1997 to test whether it is possible to cause two strangers to develop intimate closeness under laboratory conditions. The study found that as self-disclosure gradually increases, so does the sense of mutual closeness and affection. In the experiment, not only was a connection established, but one of the couples also married after approximately six months. Thus, the “Love Questionnaire” became viral, based on 36 simple questions that open the heart.
Divide the questions into three sets (A, B, C) of 12 questions each.
Allocate 15 minutes for each set – even if you have not finished all the questions, continue to the next set.
Read the questions alternately – each one asks, and you both answer.
At the end of the questionnaire, sit facing each other and look into each other’s eyes for 4 full minutes – without words.
The final stage allows the feelings to deepen. This is where the heart already knows the way.
Who would you invite to dinner if you could invite anyone?
Would you like to be famous? If so – how?
Do you prepare for phone calls in advance? Why?
What does a “perfect day” look like to you?
When was the last time you sang to yourself? And to someone else?
If you could choose between the body or mind of a 30-year-old, which would you choose for the next 60 years?
Do you have a secret gut feeling about how you will die?
What are three things that you and your partner have in common?
What are you most grateful for in life?
What would you change about the way you were raised?
Tell the story of your life in detail in 4 minutes.
If you woke up tomorrow with a new ability – what would it be?
If you could know something from the future, what would you want to discover?
What is a dream you have not yet fulfilled? And why?
What is your greatest achievement?
What do you value most in friendship?
What does friendship mean to you?
What is the place of love and affection in your life?
What is your most precious memory?
And what is your most painful memory?
Share 5 positive qualities about each other.
If you knew you would die in a year, what would you change in your life?
How close is your family? Was your childhood happy?
What is your relationship with your mother?
Formulate three sentences that begin with “We…”
Complete the sentence: “I wish I had someone I could share with…”
If you became close friends, what is important to know about you?
Tell me what you like about your partner (honestly!)
Share an embarrassing moment that happened to you.
When was the last time you cried in front of someone? And alone?
Tell me something you already love about them.
Is there a topic that cannot be laughed at? Which one?
If you were to die tonight, what would you regret not saying? And why?
If you were to save one object from the burning house, what would it be?
Whose death in your family would be the hardest for you? Why?
Share a personal problem and ask the other side how they would cope.
Find a quiet place, sit comfortably, and look into each other’s eyes without words for 4 minutes. This is an invitation to let the body and heart complete the connection. Do not be surprised if you feel infatuated. It is already happening.
Six months after the experiment, two of the participants got married. They invited the entire research team to their wedding. All they needed to understand that “this is it” was 49 minutes of open conversation with the right questions.
It’s not magic. It is measured intimacy, built step by step, with a real emotional space.
Source:
Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997).
The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363-377.
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For people without a supportive family network.
We will reveal how the lack of a family network challenges and strengthens the couple's relationship, the high prices it exacts from you and your relationship.
Couples therapy will strengthen your sense of security and belonging, so you can be close without losing yourselves along the way.
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Individual therapy is a safe space where you will rediscover your strengths, build inner confidence, and create a whole and meaningful life for yourself, just as you dream.
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You are invited to enter a unique space: an interactive conversation with special GPTs I created – a first-of-its-kind tool that looks inward with you in the language and frequency of the systemic constellation.
If there is something unresolved in your relationship, family, or heart – the chat will gently meet you without trying to fix it, inviting a different, slow, precise, and quiet perspective. There is no need to understand, just to see and let it work.
Expert in couples therapy for relationships without a supportive family safety net.
Developer of the Couples Constellation approach: a systemic-emotional therapy that brings the couple’s relational dynamics into contact with unspoken family patterns, alongside practical tools that enable movement, connection, and the creation of a deep partnership.
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Sometimes, this small step changes everything.
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