In his essay "I Love You," Bert Hellinger delves into the topic of love and its profound impact on the human soul. When someone genuinely utters "I Love You," it sparks a significant emotional shift within them. Hellinger describes a journey where the speaker and the recipient experience a profound internal change. This expression of love represents a sincere commitment that has the power to change their lives permanently. It acts as a moment of self-discovery and emotional awakening, prompting individuals to confront their fears and uncertainties from this new bond. Hellinger emphasizes that feeling fear in such situations is natural and an integral part of the human experience.
According to Hellinger, love is paradoxical in that it both diminishes and elevates an individual. Love can evoke insignificance, humility, and awareness of boundaries while instilling a sense of importance and grandeur. Hellinger argues that this paradox highlights the complex nature of human emotions and the transformative power of love.
I translated the text from:
Let's continue by reading Hellinger's essay:
"I Love You."
Who has the authority to speak such words?
What goes through the mind of the individual expressing this sentiment?
What impact does it have on the soul of the recipient?
The individual uttering these words experiences profound inner turmoil.
There is a stirring within them, akin to a powerful wave unfolding.
They may instinctively defend themselves, uncertain of where this wave will lead.
The recipient of these words also shudders;
Sensing that the words will trigger a transformation within,
Fearing the implications and the lasting effect on their life.
There is apprehension on both sides: can we face up to these words?
Will we accept the repercussions they bring?
It matters not who speaks the words or to whom they are directed.
However, no more powerful expression can truly resonate with us and strengthen our connection with someone else.
It is a remarkably humble phrase - it humbles us and elevates us simultaneously,
They are making us profoundly human.
keep loving
I want to tell you something about love that probably differs from what you expect.
During the constellations, we sometimes hear: "Let us continue to love."
But what does it mean to keep loving?
We know the phenomenon called "being in a relationship out of love." We have an extraordinary love for certain people: our parents, spouses, and children. Because we are so attached to those people, we are also separated from other people.
"Continue to love" means to want everything as it is, to accept it in the soul.
This implies that we fully agree with the current state of affairs and desire it to remain unchanged.
It also means that we agree with all of life as it is.
Agree with our lives as they are,
agree with creation as it is.
The struggle is also a part of life;
The lives of some struggle with the lives of others for the territory.
When we continue to love, we also want this reality:
The contrasts are the struggle, the victory, the fall, living and dying, the living and the dead, the past as it was, and the future as it will be.
In this love, our mind is open. We agree with and on everything.
This love means surrendering to everything; it is genuinely religious.
With this love, we are full and peaceful. Quietly watching what is happening,
We surrender to our fate confidently and respect the fate of others and the world.
To continue to love means to be devoted in the face of everything,
This has implications for our daily lives;
Those who continue to love in this way will be able to look at the world as it is in peace:
Happiness and unhappiness, life and death, complications and suffering.
The one who loves everything and gives himself confidently to everything acts according to the flow of life, the flow of life,
Without pretension, in constant agreement, and my life.
Those who look at others in this spirit and do so without concern for others will be free;
And so will those who will receive help,
They all have the same greatness and the same importance.
No one is better than the other and no worse than the other.
In summary, we are here.
Bert Hellinger
A free translation of the text from https://recursos.insconsfa.com/bh_revista_mayo2005_hombre_y_mujer.php
epilogue
Hellinger expands the concept of "continue to love" to a more profound sense of acceptance and agreement with reality. He talks about unconditional love and submitting to life's will as it is. Submitting to life's will, This is a state of inner peace, where man is in harmony with his destiny and the world's destiny. It is a love that requires us to open up to everything that is and accept the past, present, and future as they are. Those who continue to live with the constellation approach can face reality more calmly. They take all aspects of life - happiness and pain, life and death, complications and suffering. Love in the constellation approach allows us to act in harmony with the flow of life, without pretense and in agreement with what is. It is a call to acknowledge existence, accept life in its entirety, and live in inner and outer harmony with the world.
Bless us!
Sivan Avni provides couples therapy using Family Constellation and Differentiation techniques, which are available in Kiryat Tivon and online.
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